Yesterday was my 30th birthday - WOW.
Here I am, still here! My coworker said to me last night as we were leaving, "congrats! Not everyone makes it to 30." And I hadn't even thought of that much at all before. But it's true, isn't it? We are all here on borrowed time.
I also chose to watch Brene Brown's Netflix special yesterday. She ended it talking about her daughter, who dreaded doing the 100M breaststroke during a swim season. It's a hard stroke, and it's really hard to do well or fast, until everything finally sort of "clicks," and it works. She was upset leading up to it, and bounced back and forth between even showing up for the race, or bailing.
Brene says that she saw her daughter show up on the blocks at race time.
The race was rough, she had gotten lapped so badly, the next racers were in the pool.
Eventually Brene went down to speak with her daughter. She had been crying. She spoke with her mom, she asked her, "can I say a swear word?" Brene said, "you sure can." And her daughter said, "that really sucked."
Brene acknowledged this, "yes, it did suck."
And her daughter says, "that was hard, but I was brave."
I get teary eyed thinking about it, and writing it now
because
I can relate.
That was hard
Ascension.
Facing developmental traumas and fears, wounds not only from this life, but past lives, too
It was hard to experience my parents' divorce, as a teenager
It was hard to be sensitive AF, at home, and at school
It was hard and uncomfortable to be in my body, that felt so sick, so out of balance and whack for years
It was hard to find my "home" in a person, not once, but twice, and needing to both let them go.
What was harder
was not being true to myself
feeling small
carrying around stress for years and years
being sick a lot and not really breaking out of it
Brene is all about
being vulnerable
showing up
even when it's hard
because at the end of life
you'll look back
and hopefully you'll get to reflect on,
"Wow, that was hard. But I showed up, and I was brave."
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